It's an appropriately dreary day in Southeastern Pennsylvania today, as we reel from the aftermath of this year's election. Like so many people that I have talked to today, I am disgusted. I'm sad. I'm scared. And I'm incredibly discouraged.
Let me start by saying that I am neither Republican nor Democrat. I am a registered Independent. Ben, my boyfriend, is staunchly Liberal. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I may not have ever registered. This was my first time voting. This year, it was an easy choice for me. Previous years it wasn't, because my views are so much in the middle. I understand why someone would oppose abortion, especially those who have lost a baby, or those who are unable to get pregnant. I understand those who don't want universal healthcare - you work hard for your money, and it doesn't seem fair that so much of it should have to go to others. I am able to separate my own feelings towards those issues from what is best for the overall population. In most cases, I don't support abortion, but I absolutely believe the option needs to be there. I believe that an abortion stops a beating heart and that it is life, and it is a baby, regardless of how far into the pregnancy it is. But, I also understand that in some cases, the mother's life is at risk, and that in some cases, that baby would be better off not being born. I get it. I see both sides of it. Hence my Independent registration. Sometimes, the Republicans make sense to me. And sometimes they sound like the dumbest, most uneducated fools on the planet. Same goes for Democrats. Neither party is innocent. And neither party is 100% right.
That all being said, Donald Trump is wrong for this country. I am shocked that he is going to be our new president. I am appalled that he has been elected to represent our people and what we stand for. And I'm angry that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote. No, it's not "cold comfort." It doesn't feel good that it was a "close race." There is no silver lining here. Hillary Clinton was elected by the people to be the next President of the United States. The Electoral College painted a different picture. However, the votes were so close that I'm disgusted. I found myself at work today, looking at everyone I saw and wondering which side of this they fell on. Fifty percent of voters voted for Donald Trump. One out of every two people who voted, voted for Donald Trump. They voted for the man who has publicly denounced an entire religion. They voted for a man who plans on shadowing Hitler with his plans to keep immigrants out of our country (immigrants, that I have no doubt these same people have hired, because they "work for cheap"). They voted for a man who thinks it is okay to "grab a woman by the pussy" and kiss her without permission. They voted for a man who thinks that members of the gay community do not deserve the same rights as the rest of us. They voted against common decency. They voted against humanity. And I now stop and wonder if each person I see is quietly racist, and misogynistic, and homophobic. I understand not supporting either candidate. I do. What I don't understand is this "lesser of two evils" nonsense. Hillary Clinton, during this election, was poised, and professional, and tried her best to stick to the issues. Donald Trump was the exact opposite. Clinton may have made some bad choices during her political career, but what politician hasn't? Trump hasn't made bad political decisions, because he hasn't made any political decisions. His business decisions, however, have been horrific.
The four women I work closely with at one of my jobs all have children of their own. I'm the sole childless woman in the room. Thankfully, all four of them were against Trump winning the election. Hearing the reactions from their children was so saddening. One commented that her five-year-old son took it really hard, and was concerned about the women of our country - his mother and his sister. She said she made an effort not to let her hatred for Trump rub off on him, because she didn't want that negativity in his life. But, the fact that a five-year-old already knew that speaks volumes. She's a better person than I, because I would have told my child exactly what I thought. Which is what another co-worker did. She told us that she took her children aside and assured them that Donald Trump was not "their"president. That he didn't speak for them. That he did not represent the values that they held. She wanted her children to know where they stood as a family. And another said that her nine-year-old daughter threw herself on the floor crying when she heard the news this morning. Of course, these kids are being influenced by their parents, there's no question there. But, for a five-year-old boy to know, and to understand, at that age, what this means for women, and to express concern...how do we justify that? How do we defend that? How does the rest of the world look at their children and tell them that they genuinely care about their future? Because millions of people have proven otherwise. There is not a single thing that Hillary Clinton did in her entire career that even compares to some of Trump's indiscretions. And he is supported at every turn. I don't generally jump on the gender bandwagon, or the race bandwagon, simply because I feel that a lot of it is media hype. That's not to say that I don't think it's a problem. It simply means that I think the media perpetuates the problems, and feeds us stories they want us to pay attention to. Much of the other side of things is not reported, or downplayed significantly. That being said, I do believe that if Hillary Clinton had been a man, she would have decimated Donald Trump.
So much of my family support him. So many of them have been cheering for him since the early days of the election process. Since before the primaries. And I've been repulsed by them ever since. I was able, somehow, to find it in myself to still love them, and to still be an active part of their life, but I don't know if I can this year. I don't know if I can stomach Thanksgiving and Christmas with people who clearly don't care much about my future, or about the future of my children. I cannot sit at a table and share a meal of thanks with people who stand against everything this country is about. I cannot celebrate a holiday that represents the very thing they voted against. This country was founded on immigrants. It was founded on religious freedom. That's why people come here. They come here for freedom. And we are now telling these people that there is nowhere safe for them to go. You can't practice your religion here. You can't love who you want here. You can't voice an opinion or walk against the crowd here. Conform or die. That's how it feels.
For those of us who are not white Christian males, it's now a terrifying place to live. Without the trifecta of privilege, we have no place in this country anymore. I am not thankful for the 50% who voted for Hillary. Because it's not enough. I do not find comfort in the fact that "half of the people" are still good. Half is not enough. Half is dismally less than it should be. This should not have been a close race. This should have been a landslide. My own state went to Donald Trump, and I find myself taking that harder than the overall election. The place I call home. The place I love. I feel betrayed. And I know that SO MANY of us are feeling the same way. And we need each other so much right now. Hatred may have won the election, but don't let it win our hearts. Be louder. Be stronger. Be better. We can all do better. We can all do more. I know I plan to.
Stay strong, my friends. And know that we are stronger together. I love you.
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